When authors get together, they talk about selling books: what works, who can help, where novels sell like Snickerdoodles, that sort of thing. They also talk about other authors, and when they do, your name should not come up in the following categories.

The Shouter

At one author fair I sat next to a man who hollered at every customer who entered the room, “Come over here and let me tell you about my book!” It was distracting when I was talking with potential buyers. It was irritating to see people walk past the other authors because they were too polite to disobey his demand. It was counter-productive, because his hog call made most people avoid coming anywhere near him—which meant they missed one whole end of the room.

The Plotter

Most authors play fair and support each other, but I’ve met a few who actively plot against fellow writers. The worst example was a man who stationed his wife at the door, where she greeted customers, handed them his bookmarks, and directed them to his table, sometimes even leading them past the rest of us to make sure they went to him first. This guy was also a shouter, and his cry was “Everyone from 8 to 80 will love my book.” (See “The Dreamer” below.) I was later told by a bookstore owner that they no longer invite him because he’s so obnoxious.

The Burglar

At a book fair, authors are usually lined up at table after table, and prospective buyers/readers wander along, chatting and looking. The burglar engages a person who stops at another author’s spot, pulling him away with a question or comment. Now that might happen as a result of conversation, but when it does, the second author should at some point direct attention back to the first. “We both write mysteries. Carrie, tell him about your demon detective.”

The Dreamer

We all think our work deserves attention, but keep in mind:

• Tastes vary. Not everyone from 8 to 80 will love your book.
• Moods vary. A reader might not be looking for what you’re selling today.
• Styles vary. My breezy storytelling in the Sleuth Sisters series might grind on one reader’s nerves. Others find it fun and compelling.
• Subjects vary. If a reader says she doesn’t like blood and gore, you shouldn’t push your slasher serial killer series at her.
• Age is a factor. I’ve seen authors tell parents their teen reader will “love” novels obviously written for adults. While teens are capable of understanding my KIDNAP series, for example, I would never push it as reading material for a 14-year-old.

To sum up: If you’re twisting your book’s plot, genre, reading level, or style to one-size-fits-all, you’re a dreamer. And if you’re telling people you’re a better writer than Lee Child or Janet Evanovitch or Fyodor Dostoevsky, you’re deluding yourself. Get real.

I’ve dealt with authors in all these categories more than once, and they need to look at marketing differently. Certain tactics might result in sales, but they can also backfire. They don’t work in the long run either, because it’s all about what’s inside the book, not what you say about it. Still, readers are nice people. They won’t look you in the eye and say, “Don’t shade the truth, don’t force yourself on me, don’t ignore the authors sitting around you.” Similarly, most authors won’t say out loud that they resent what you do, but trust me, the organizers will hear about it.

To summarize: At an author event, it isn’t fair to trick, badger, distract, or delude those you hope to make long-term fans. It isn’t right to push yourself between readers and fellow authors. And my personal take: If those are your marketing tactics, you’re not an author. You’re a huckster.